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THIS BLOG IS HISTORY.
BUT CONGRATS! YOU'VE FOUND MY OLD BLOG! A SITE WHERE I ENTRUSTED MY MOST VULNERABLE HISTORY!!BUT LET'S KEEP THIS A SECRET, KAYS? ;D This is a dead blog, and I will no longer update this blog.
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I entrusted my most vulnerable moments here, therefore I do not want to delete this blog.
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I feel so unloved
Saturday, 1 August 2009 , 20:10
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I hate my mother. What had I owed her for my past life that I deserve this? Praises and compliments for my brother, curses and reprimands for me. Stupid. It's not fair, my brother also very normal and what does he do to deserve love and why don't I? I don't even have a single love from anybody. Everytime when I have to throw out the rubbish the command will be a yell but when it's my brother's turn, the request will be ended wif a 'thank you'. So unfair. Nobody loves me in school, I have no friends. And nobody loves me at home either. Why can't I live with that? God make life so painful for me. I am probably his punchbag and everyone else's punchbag. I am born like this. God made me like this; needs to feel constant love. Nobody loves me, I always sleep very late, so I wake up very late, like that also got wrong mehh? Why must I get scolded because of that? Idiot. My mother not happy see me so fun to bully then curse me, hit me, slap me for no reasons. Some times when I read those kinda tragic books I feel like as though I more sympathetic than the characters. I suffer from hair loss often, they say if children or teens suffer from hair loss constantly is most likely because they are always feeling scared or uncomfortable. If my mother go overseas and I don't have to see her for that week, I bet that would be the best week I would ever had. In this world, there is only one person who loves me. One and only one and nobody else; myself. Only myself. Even I can't give myself constant love that I need. How much I hated myself for being so stupid, but can I? If I still hate myself, who will love me?